In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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