p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
