He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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