youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
