brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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