Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
