i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
