Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He felt like a one man threesome
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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