i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
