butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
