My balls are so social today.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
is wine microwaveable?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
