You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
