Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
did you just send me my own nude
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