im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
