brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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