she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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