whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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