Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
