you would pick up someone in the library
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
