I smell stomach acid.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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