she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
