HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
