just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
