so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
