google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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