Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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