apparently the secret to your success is patron
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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