you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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