Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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