i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
