I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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