Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
