haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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