i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
