it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize