i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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