There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
