apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
