So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize