Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize