yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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