cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
In America we eat man semen.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
