Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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