I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
