i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
