The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
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