that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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