I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
