David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
