WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
