fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize