clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
