I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
