i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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