my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
