Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
