Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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