My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
