I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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