I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
These tits shall not be calmed
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
