I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
