its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
