He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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